Measuring

WHAT’S THE “BIG” DEAL?

8 Inches.  20cm. Only 1% of men are actually hung 8″ or bigger. That makes us a pretty exclusive group. So exclusive, in fact, that a lot of men will lie about the size of their cock to pretend they are one of us. So, for the sake of accuracy here is our guide to measuring your penis. We apologize in advance if you come up a little short.

Measuring is pretty simple and straightforward. All you need is your cock and something to measure it with. A measuring tape is your best tool. That way, if your dick curves in any direction you can follow that curve with the tape for an accurate measurement. The use of a metal tape measure is not recommended; we don’t want you slicing your wiener.

 

If you don’t have a tape measure or tailor’s tape, a ruler works just as well. It’s more cumbersome for men with curving cocks, and most excellent for men with straight boners.

 

Another acceptable item is anything that measures an inch. It should be solid (so its size can’t be altered) and of a standard measure. In the US, the 25 cent piece (quarter) is a standard size of 1 inch or 24mm (technically .955 inch and 24.26mm) and is acceptable as a 1″ unit of measure.

 

Other items, such as beverage bottles, TV remotes, toothpaste tubes, hairbrushes, etc. come in a variety of sizes and can be “faked”. They are not acceptable comparisons for this Fraternity.

 

PROCEDURE

This is where so many guys get confused. I have received many questions pertaining to where men should measure from. The answer is simple. Measure only the section of your cock that actually goes in someone. Sure, your cock starts somewhere inside your body, but the only part that is important is the part that the other guy can use.

So, if you’ve got a measuring tape, put the start of the tape where your cock meets your torso and unfurl it to the tip of your cock. Boom! Measured. Now you know.

If your cock curves, measure along the outside of the curve.

Use the ruler similarly. If your cock has a curve to it, try to straighten your hardon as much as possible without injuring it, and put the ruler on or alongside it. Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!

Quarters can be taped together in a line and then laid down on your shaft to give a good visual estimation. You dick must support 8 quarters edge to edge in order to qualify. If balancing them on your dick doesn’t work so well, you can line them up on a table and slap that spunk sausage down next to it. You just found your APL (Accurate Penis Length)!

 

THE BEST WAY AROUND
Using a tailor’s tape, wrap the tape around the thickest part of your shaft so that the “0” mark is on top. Make sure the tape is snug but not tight. Read the point where it overlaps to find your accurate penis girth (APG).

If you don’t have a tailor’s tape, you can use a piece of string and a pen. Wrap the string around the thickest part of your shaft, mark both parts of the string where it overlaps itself, then remove the string and measure the distance between the marks. Man, you’re getting good at this!

 

NO BONES ABOUT IT

Ahem! Bone-pressed measurements, where you press the ruler into your gut until you hit the bone, are not acceptable for this Fraternity.

 

SAY CHEESE!

Ideally, we’d like you to take a photo of your cock alongside a measuring tool, preferably with a piece of paper that has your username and the current date written on it. That way we know that the photo you post is really of YOUR enormous cock and not some pornstar pic you snagged off the interwebs.

 

So men, have at it! Now you can post your ACTUAL erect penis size on 8plusclub.net!

(Don’t worry, we won’t insist that you change all of your other profiles)